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Father(ed) Less to Freedom: A Story of Father Wounds and Forgiveness

Hi Faith Travelers and Happy New Year!

I know it’s been a few weeks since you have heard from me. I was away getting much needed rest and resting in God to understand what He is requiring of me in this new year. I hope this new year/season is treating you well and many of you are sticking to the declarations and promises that you made at the start of 2024. Not out of superstition, ritual or routine but out of sheer desire to do what’s needed to walk into the fullness of the new thing that God has for you in 2024, even in spite of what may be going on around you.

I want to start today’s testimony by talking about how a New Years’ promise to myself and God, going into 2018, freed me from years of hurt, resentment and unforgiveness due to a father wound.

Some of us are fortunate to grow up in loving two parent households, some of us single parent households and some of us not so loving two parent homes. My family structure growing up was a little different. My parents were high school sweethearts who got married when I was 4 and divorced when I was 6, with good reason from my observation. I think I may have been the only young kid that would say their parents didn’t need to be together. This meant for most of my childhood I spent doing frequent to infrequent visits to my dad’s house. It started out great until it wasn’t.

I started out spending alot of time with my dad as he watched me while my mom was away on airforce reserve duty. We took plenty of trips to the park, the fair, and shared loving moments at home of me and him dancing while I stood on his feet.

Things started to shift from ages 9 to 25 when I started to feel abandoned by the person who was always supposed to love and protect me. My dad remarried and the visits became far and few in between. My dad’s wife, at the time, even told me I needed to spend more time with my dad. Which made no sense to me at the time because I was only 9 and always available for him to make the 10 min drive to pick me up from my mom’s house. Years later my dad divorced and remarried a third time. The distance only got worse. My then 2nd stepmother, had 4 children coming into the marriage so as time went the overwhelming feeling and evidence of being replaced with his new family started to rise while I strived to feel included in the new family structure.

Once I was old enough to drive and could borrow the car from my mom, I would drive over to spend time with my dad and his family. I watched the interactions with him and his stepdaughters and stepson and it was evident that they were getting a father figure that I hadn’t had the pleasure of being acquainted with. It was crushing to sit back and watch my dad be a father to others while I strived to be significant in his life. I started buying him and everyone gifts in hopes that it would help them see me more, like me more or even invite me over more often. I was promised that they would give me a key to the house so I could come over between classes and that when they got another house there would be a room for me but that never happened. Broken promise after broken promise occurred.

There was a moment when I had issues with my car and couldn’t take it outside of city limits and was limited to school, work and home. I told my dad and he offered to talk to his friend to get it fixed. That never happened. I was later told by my dad that my stepmother said I only called when I needed something. I wasn’t upset that she said it. I was more upset that he seemed to believe it. This all happened while my stepsister was receiving her first vehicle, they purchased for her.

In my senior year of high school, things got expensive. There were senior dues, senior pictures, the band ball, senior prom, running for prom queen, senior trip, senior dinner and all the things that required money. Myself and my mom’s financial position wasn’t in the necessary shape to support all that I had going on but we made it work the best way possible. My step mom made my band ball dress and my Junior prom dress the year before so she wasn’t all bad, in case you were thinking that. There was a senior dinner coming up and we were asked to invite our parents and present them with a gift. I’d gotten my mom a gift and my dad a crystal sculpture with an image of a father and daughter inside of it. We received two tickets so I told my dad about it and he told me he would come. The evening of the dinner my mom and I were sitting across from each other and my dad’s seat was next to me. I saw my dad in the entryway of the event hall signing in and said to myself “He came!”. My friend that knew the issues I’d had with my dad smiled at me as I wore the excitement on my face. He seemed to be standing at the check in a little too long so I went to see if there was an issue. He’d brought my step mother, which was fine, but didn’t understand why there wasn’t a ticket for her. I told him I only received 2 tickets for him and my mom but it wasn’t a problem because it was a nominal fee for additional people which I believe was $8 at the time. They said okay and I went back to my seat glad that all seemed resolved, yet it wasn’t. I sat down and after a few minutes I looked in the entryway and saw my dad leaving. I went back up to the check in area and looked outside only to see my dad and stepmom driving away. I wanted to be optimistic and think that they were coming back but they didn’t. I went to the ladies room, where my friend met me, and I cried the tears that hurt so badly to shed. My friends gave me a pep talk and we went back out to enjoy the dinner with her parents and my mom. It’s safe to say I took the gift I got for him back to the store. I didn’t address it then or even for several years with my dad about why he left that night. I was too afraid that it would validate my thoughts and feelings of him abandoning me on my senior night over $8.

A similar event happened several years later when I was graduating from college with my engineering degree and my stepmom called me and said my dad wouldn’t be coming to my graduation because my stepbrother’s boot camp graduation was that same weekend. I didn’t react, I was hurt but told her “okay I understand”. I didn’t keep my hopes up regarding my dad much after high school. To my surprise, my dad actually came through and made it to my graduation and I got to see him briefly afterwards before we were all supposed to head to my joint graduation party at a friend’s house. We were caravanning to the location in multiple cars. My mom was behind me and my dad behind her. I recall some reroutes along the way but we were all tailing each other to get there. Once we got to the location I noticed my dad didn’t pull up to the house. I thought something was wrong and was concerned. I later found out that he decided to drive to see a friend near the area and then back to Savannah from Atlanta because he said he couldn’t keep up with the traffic. I told him he could’ve called and we would have navigated him here but that was after the fact and another moment in time that I had been disappointed and left to feel like an afterthought to him in my mind. This was the introduction of what I had come to know as Father Wounds.

From the age of 15 to 30, looking back, I realized the effects of the father wounds and how they showed up in different aspects of my life. It started with me positioning myself to never need anyone’s help for the fear of being let down. That resulted in me working 5 jobs at one time while in college. I worked at a men’s clothing store, Best Buy, the campus bookstore, in the campus athletic department and I had my own tutoring service on the weekdays as well. The effects didn’t end here. They show up as people pleasing and a lack of boundaries with people in hopes for them to like me. The worse part was that it showed up in my dating relationships and lack of discernment on choosing a partner who God would choose for me. Because of this I ended up in several cheating, toxic and abusive(physical and verbal) relationships. A few of these relationships took years to heal from the mental, emotional and physical traumatic toll it had on me. When I look back on it, I ask myself, why did I allow this? Because I didn’t have a male standard to go off of. I didn’t have someone telling me “No, he’s not the right one for you”. And I didn’t have the father figure, like some of my friends had, teaching me to not entertain just any guy that crosses my path. This was until I met someone that changed everything for me.

That someone I met was God. I know it sounds cliche but hear me out. When I received salvation through accepting Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, I looked at God as my Lord and Master. Someone to give me orders and instructions for my good as I navigated life. As I grew in my relationship with God, after the last toxic heartbreak, I began to not only see God as Lord but I started to see Him as My Father, someone relentlessly loving me out of every hurt and pain I’d ever experienced, someone who was always there in the ups and the downs, and someone there to make sure I am always safe and protected. God took me on a journey of restoration changing me from the inside out. He erased every disappointment and replaced them with His faithfulness. He fulfilled His promise in Psalms 68:5(See Below) and showed me the father I needed and always wanted.

“Father to the fatherless, defender of widows— this is God, whose dwelling is holy.”

Psalms 68:5 NLT

Though I’d had so many disappointments from my dad, God shared with me that my dad couldn’t give me something that he himself didn’t receive from his own father. God showed me how to love and forgive my dad despite the past. I was reminded of the scripture Mark 11:25 which says, “And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses.” I realized the unforgiveness was hurting me more than anything. My husband says it best, unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick or die. I needed to make a decision to let go.

“And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him and let it drop (leave it, let it go), in order that your Father Who is in heaven may also forgive you your [own] failings and shortcomings and let them drop.”

Mark 11:25 AMPC

That year, in 2017, I had been working on a letter to send to my dad but I couldn’t quite finish because I don’t think I was ready to share my thoughts the way God needed me to share them, speaking the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15 NKJV). It wasn’t until December 31st, 2017 that I ‘d made up my mind that I would no longer be bound by the hurts, pains, resentment and unforgiveness of my past. I wrote a letter sharing my heart with my dad and letting him know that I would no longer harbor the events of the past because I was choosing forgiveness. In the midst of this, God told me something that pierced my heart in a different way regarding not just my dad but people in general. He said to me, “He’s a man and man can fail you but I’m your Father and I will never fail. That was the moment I decided to no longer put my trust in man but in God alone.

On December 31st, 2017, New Years Eve, I not only forgave but I received a new found freedom that didn’t come in response from my dad at the receipt of the letter, it came when I made the decision to let go and let God. My dad never responded to the letter nor spoke of it. In fact I didn’t know he still had it until I asked in 2021. It didn’t bother me one bit because I’d left all of that hurt at the feet of Jesus on the last day of 2017. It also didn’t bother me because a few months into 2018, after I sent the letter, God showed me how He would use my dad in such a way that showed me though I can’t physically see or touch God, He can do more for me than any man can. In 2018, I healed, I found freedom, I grew closer to my dad, I discovered my purpose, I met my husband and so much more. It’s amazing what one decision to forgive did.

Until the next testimony…

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Hope Fulfilled

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, But when the desire comes, it is a tree of life.”

Proverbs 13:12 NKJV

Have you ever been in the midst of a circumstance or situation that you desired to change. Your health, a family relationship restored, your living situation or even your finances. I believe everyone has at some point in their lives, in some way shape or form. That’s what “Hope” is… a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen. But what happens when those breakthroughs don’t happen when you expect them to. That’s when disappointment attempts to set in, especially after countless attempts to see change in the situation come to pass. It’s only when the breakthrough reveals itself that Hope is fulfilled. The message bible translation of Proverbs 13:12 says it best; “unrelenting disappointment leaves you heartsick, but a sudden good break can turn life around.”

Unrelenting disappointment leaves you heartsick, but a sudden good break can turn life around.

Proverbs 13:12 MSG

That sudden good break is when after several attempts to see change, you finally receive a good doctor’s report or that prodigal relative returns to restore the family bond. It’s when you finally find the long awaited permanent home you’ve been seeking or your financial situation is no longer a disparity. That’s Hope Fulfilled.

This past weekend my husband and I had the opportunity to serve at an event at our church called iHope, where they provide Christmas gifts to families in need. The families were able to sign up or be nominated to participate. They would then come to the church the day of the event, receive a shopping cart, partner with a family host and have the opportunity to choose several gifts for each of their children to be gift wrapped and sent home with them providing a hopeful experience on Christmas day. All at no cost to the families. The event served over 200 families providing gifts for over 630 children. That’s not all! In the midst of the church being the hands and feet of Jesus through this event, each attendee received prayer, resulting in 14 people giving their life to Christ with 24 people receiving healing. More than 500 volunteers showed up to give hope to those who needed it during this Christmas holiday. That’s Hope Fulfilled.

During the highlight video, one of the individuals nominated for iHope shared their testimony. She mentioned that in 2016, her and her son lived in a homeless community. During that time, she acknowledged, she didn’t grow up in church nor did she go to church but since a bus would come by the community to pick everyone up, they would jump on it and go. At church is where she got saved, receiving Jesus as her Lord and Savior. Fast forward to 2023, she stated that her kids are saved, they are baptized and they all haven’t been homeless since. She actually had the opportunity to volunteer and serve at the very homeless community they used to live in during Serve Day 2023. She stated, “It was just a full circle moment for me”. Now that is Hope Fulfilled!

For everyone out there, remember Jesus Christ is our blessed hope and because of His sacrifice for us (John 3:16), we can always live in expectation of having Hope Fulfilled.

Until the next faith testimony…

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What’s Your Faith Reference Point?

HI Faith Travelers!

Happy Faith Friday!

Have you ever thought to yourself how you would exercise your faith in an unexpected situation of duress. A moment when you have more month than money and you need an instant miracle just to survive. Or even a circumstance where you are dealing with sickness in your body and the doctors don’t know what to do. These can be situations when you are really trying to grasp at the smallest mustard seed of faith (See Matthew 17:20) just to make it through. In these moments, you have to be able to recall your faith reference point. I know that sounds made up but I am going somewhere with this.

A reference point can be defined as an idea, fact, event, etc., that you already know, which helps you understand or make a judgement about another situation. Let’s reference the word of God for example. In Romans 10:17, the Bible states “So then faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God. That means God’s word helps us to grow and strengthen our faith because it reminds us of His promises. When we are ill, we know that Isaiah 53:5 states,” …by His (Jesus) stripes we are healed”. When we are in lack, God’s word reminds us that “…my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus” as noted in Philippians 4:19. When we are in danger, we know that “No weapon formed against you shall prosper…” based on Isaiah 54:17. These are all reference points of God’s promises in His word. Our faith is the assurance of hope that these promises are evident and will be executed in our lives based on what we have read and believe. Well it is one thing to believe yet it’s another to experience God’s promise in your life to be a direct witness of what He promised. This stretches and strengthens our faith because we now have a faith reference point of what God has done in our lives, not just what He promised. Therefore a faith reference point helps us to know, understand and recall our faith in different circumstances based on a previous event where faith was executed. What does that mean?

It means…

You know that God heals because you have a faith reference point of when He healed you from cancer.

You know God’s a provider because you have a faith reference point of when He provided rent money right before that eviction and grocery money before starvation when there was no way in sight to pay for either.

You know God’s a protector because you have a faith reference point from when He brought you out of a terrible car accident unharmed without a scratch.

You know God is faithful because you have a faith reference point from when God blessed you with that beautiful baby you and your spouse had been praying and believing for, for years, even when doctors said it wouldn’t happen based on test results.

Throughout this blog I have shared my faith reference points of God being a healer, miracle worker, peace giver, protector and restorer in my life. Today I want to share another faith story on God being a protector.

On October 1, 2017, my friend Shelly and I were enjoying our last day in Las Vegas after a weekend of sightseeing, shopping, bus tours, and an MJ Cirque du Soleil show. After a full day at the Grand Canyon we headed back to our hotel to grab our bags and prepare to head to the airport. I went into the lobby bathroom to wash off some of that Grand Canyon dust before our overnight flight. While I was at the sink next to a young lady, her boyfriend began to call for her from the hall. She was annoyed but I began to feel uneasy for some reason so I started to pack up my stuff to walk out. Before I realized, my friend Shelly ran into the bathroom yelling “Sheena we have to go! They’re shooting!” I didn’t realize it then but I went into shock as I heard the screams, shooting and people running into our hotel from the concert going on down the street. Little did we know there was a mass shooting going on at the Route 91 Harvest music festival, right down the street from the Tropicana Hotel we were staying in and across from the Mandalay Hotel where we were just the night before for the MJ show. Shelly and I ran into a bathroom stall and we could hear the screaming, running and those coming to hide in the bathroom. Shelly went into drill sergeant mode and stated we couldn’t stay in the stall because it wasn’t safe. We made our way out of the lobby bathroom and up to the mezzanine floor in a large storage closet with several others. As time passed the closet began to clear out until it was just us two in there. We began to pray. I said aloud, “Lord, I don’t know how you are going to do it but I know you are going to get us out of here and back home safely.” I had a faith reference point of when God protected me when I was held at gunpoint, years prior, so I knew God would somehow protect us. I messaged our pastor and another minister on social media so they could be praying and Shelly called her dad who spoke with someone at the front desk who said wherever we were in the hotel wasn’t safe and we needed to get to the Casino area because SWAT was on the way and that’s where they wanted everyone. We had already had this unction to move and as soon as we were about to, someone locked eyes with me from a crack in the doorway and out of fear locked us in from the outside. Once they realized we weren’t a threat from our screaming they let us out and told us to get somewhere safe. We left the closet and headed for the escalator to head down to the casino area and that’s when someone opened fire on the Mezzanine floor. We all screamed and ran while tons of people on that floor scattered. Shelly and I ran down the escalator, jumped over and hid under the bar where others were hiding. Shelly stated we couldn’t stay there in case someone wanted to shoot over the bar. We prayed as we came from the bar cover, making a run for the casino area. Once we’d made it, the SWAT team was coming in as we all had to put our hands up while they headed upstairs where someone had been shot.

Actual Footage of SWAT entering Tropicana Hotel after Vegas mass shooting
Source: Youtube Video by KPCC

After an hour or so passed everyone was directed to the back of the hotel while investigations were ongoing for the crime that had now happened in our hotel as well. We were directed to rooms and hallways until the lockdown was cleared. After 3AM, everyone was allowed to go back to their prospective rooms, hotels or leave the hotel all together. Shelly and I left the hotel and had to wave down multiple taxis until one agreed to take us to the airport.

Waiting in back of Tropicana Hotel during investigations after shooting
Vegas Strip Lockdown after Vegas mass shooting

Shelly and I made it back to Florida safe and sound. Shortly after a friend from the news station contacted me about doing a story on what happened and I used the opportunity to share faith in God and the power of prayer. Shelly and I also had the opportunity to share our testimony of God’s protection with our church.

Me on the Local News after 2017 Vegas mass shooting

When it comes to knowing that God is my protector and my refuge, this testimony is one of my faith reference points to always remind me that God is faithful and He is always with us. Take this opportunity to recall your faith reference points to keep you in remembrance of who God is, what He has done, and what He is more than capable of doing again and again.

Until the next faith testimony…

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Consistency Is Key

HI Faith Travelers!

How many times have you heard the phrases “Consistency is key”, “Consistent actions create consistent results”, or even “Success isn’t about greatness, it’s about consistency”. Well all of these quotes aren’t just true in the world and business but they can also be applied biblically.

Consistency is Key!

Consistency can be defined as the quality of always behaving or performing in a similar way, or of always happening in a similar way. When I hear this definition, it makes me think of the most consistent person in my life, Jesus Christ. In Hebrews 13:8, the bible states, ” Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever”. He is consistent with His love and faithfulness seated at the right hand of the Father. He was consistent in His compassion and power as He walked this earth over 2000 years ago. And He is consistent in His character and stance as He never compromised God’s word even when His own life was at stake. Jesus is consistent because of the unchangeable name of God. It’s just like the bible says in Numbers 23:19, God is not a man, that He should lie, Nor a son of man, that He should repent. Has He said, and will He not do? Or has He spoken, and will He not make it good. Basically, if God promised it, He will do it because He’s consistent.

We all know that God being consistent is a given. But our relationship with Him isn’t just about His consistency, it’s about ours. Its about our consistent faith (Mark 11:22 AMP), our consistent prayer (I Thessalonians 5:17 NLT), our consistent obedience, our consistent trust, our consistent time in His presence… our consistency period. Our relationship with God is a two way street, meaning even after we have talked to God in prayer, we should listen just as long as we pray to hear what the Lord has to say in response. Prayer is not a monologue, it’s a dialogue/conversation.

Our consistency with God nurtures the very relationship that orders our steps to and through purpose. It builds trust not just for us towards God but for God towards us. When dealing with trial after trial with my health several years ago (See Blog Post Here), I didn’t know God for myself nor how to hear His voice but I consistently cried out to Him, read His word and prayed as much as I knew how because “something told me”, which I now know that something is the Holy Spirit, that it was going to be okay and just keep praying. Soon enough I unexpectedly yet expectantly received the answers to my prayers and the healing to my body because I consistently prayed, consistently spent time with God and consistently stood in faith. Not only did my consistency build my trust in God which, in turn, strengthened my faith but it also showed God that He can trust me too when it comes to divine assignments He leads me to do concerning His children(all of you), for His glory.

It’s December 1st and some of you are wondering what’s next for you before this year ends. Just because there are 31 days left in this year, doesn’t mean God can’t do something profound in your life through your next 31 days of consistency. So I challenge you to allow God to wow you in the midst of your consistency in seeking Him, consistency in prayer, consistency in faith, consistency in discipline, in writing that book, applying for that job, starting that business and LLC, and consistency in obedience of doing what God is leading you to do in this last month of 2023. Pick up those projects you thought had died, take the steps of consistency with God and watch yourself finish the year stronger than you could have ever imagined.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us

Ephesians 3:20 NIV

Until the next faith story…

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Peace Amidst Holiday Grief

Hi Faith Travelers,

In light of the Thanksgiving Holiday celebrated in the United States this week, I pray this week has been filled with gratitude and thankfulness for you and your families. For some that has been your sentiments, but for others there has also been a wave of emotions of loneliness, grief and sadness. This is all too common for those who have dealt with the loss of a loved one and those who are in a place where they feel lonely during the holidays even without loss. You may feel hurt, sad, lonely, angry, confused, or even lost in the midst of the flood of emotions but it’s okay. I know that sounds kind of weird coming from a Christian blogger but I am here to tell you there is nowhere in the Bible that tells you to keep your emotions of grief bottled up. In fact, the Bible tells us in Matthew 5:4; “Blessed are those who mourn, For they shall be comforted.” In the midst of the emotions and the thoughts that take us to that unwanted place, we have to realize that it’s okay not to be okay, but we just can’t stay there.

“Blessed are those who mourn, For they shall be comforted.”

Matthew 5:4

It is normal to grieve loved ones who are no longer with us. It is normal to feel a certain way when we are attempting to celebrate a holiday that was once filled with their presence yet now it is not. Remembering the words they uttered when you saw them, the chair they once sat in, the meals they once cooked and even the warmth they made you feel just from being around them can all be a lot to process. It is okay to mourn the loss of that loved one and the very essence of who that person was to you. We just can’t stay there because when our emotions begin to lead over our God given spirit it leaves a foothold to the devil. The enemy would love to take any attempt to bring you down deeper into a state of mind that you once had control over but is now flooded with consuming thoughts taking you into a hole you can’t dig yourself out of. The Bible says in I Peter 5: 8, “Be sober, be vigilant: because your adversary the devil walks around like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.” Therefore recognize when you have those moments, understand you are human and its okay for you to not be okay in those moments, then proceed to ask Jesus to help you stand on His word in faith and receive His perfect peace (Isaiah 26:3-4). This is better described in I Peter 5:9-10 where it states “Resist him(the devil), steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world. 10 But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you.

8 Be sober, be vigilant: because your adversary the devil walks around like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devourResist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world. 10 But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you.

I Peter 5:8-10 NKJV

After you have suffered in the things you are going through, whether that is grief, sadness, loneliness, confusion, depression, physical pain or anything else not God given, God will perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you. God will perfect meaning He will mend and restore what has been broken. He will establish meaning God will stabilize and render your mind constant. He will strengthen meaning God will make your soul strong. He will settle meaning God will lay the foundation and ground you there. God will do the work for you, you just have to trust Him and surrender the burden to Him.

For those who are having a difficult time this Holiday season here is a prayer for you to pray over yourself:

Father God in the name of Jesus, thank you for being Lord over all, not just in my high moments but also in my low moments. Thank you for Your love to comfort me in the midst of mourning and for Your perfect peace that surpasses all understanding as I keep my thoughts stayed on you. Thank you Lord for helping me to understand in my heart that as believers my loved ones may be absent from the body but are now present with You Lord and I will see them again. I thank you that my faith and trust are anchored in You and Your power at work in my life. I decree and declare I am more than a conqueror and the devil remains a defeated foe in my life. I decree and declare even in the midst of grief, You are perfecting, establishing, strengthening and settling me in Christ Jesus. And I thank you that I can forever live from a place of peace. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Until the next time…

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Faith and Miracles: God Healed My Eye

Hi Faith Travelers!

Happy Faith Friday!

I want to talk about a topic near and dear to my heart today. The topic that saved my life. The very reason this blog was brought to fruition…FAITH.

Now Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

Hebrews 11:1 NKJV

What is Faith? According to Hebrews 11:1 NKJV, “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen”. Faith can also be described as complete trust or confidence in someone or something; a hope or belief. The Hebrew word for confidence is Bitachon, meaning to be at ease, to trust and to be confident. Think about when you put your trust in something or someone, there tends to be no doubt or disbelief in it, yet there’s also an assurance and certainty regarding that person or thing. This is how we ought to have faith in Jesus…with trust, certainty and assurance. This is the faith in knowing that He is the Son of God who walked this earth over 2000 years ago sharing the Good News and the message of God’s kingdom while also performing miracles including healing the sick, raising the dead and casting out demons (Matthew 10:7-8 NKJV). When Jesus laid down His life for us, dying on the cross yet was resurrected and is now seated at the right hand of Father God, His sacrifice forgave every sin/ iniquity and healed all of our diseases (Psalms 103:3 NKJV). This didn’t just end in biblical times, we still have possession of the free gift of salvation that includes all of the above as our benefits.

In John 14:12-14 NJKV, Jesus says to His disciples, “Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do he will do also; and greater works (in quantity) than these he will do, because I go to My Father (God). 13 And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. 14 If you ask anything in My name, I will do it. Well this doesn’t just apply to the disciples then, it also applies to the modern day disciples, who happen to be us.

Where there is hope, there is Faith. Where there is Faith miracles happen.

Anonymous

Years ago I put my faith and this scripture to the test. Around this time in 2014, I nearly lost my eye from a fall that shattered my orbital floor in my right eye. The doctors wanted me to get surgery even though I didn’t live in the area where the incident occurred. They informed me that they would need to go in, lift my eye back up and put a plate in to keep the eye stabilized. I refused the surgery because my FAITH was in my eye fully healing on its own. Sounds crazy, but I knew this situation was no match for God. Due to the incident, I no longer had right peripheral vision, was sensitive to light and my brain and eye were not communicating so basic function like walking straight and turning when someone says something to you was very limited. During that week I laid hands on my eye and prayed to God that my eye would heal on its own without surgery. I backed my prayer with Mark 16:18 “…they will lay hands on the sick , and they will recover” trusting that God’s word was true and would work on my behalf. Once I returned home, I went to an ophthalmologist to make sure my vision was still okay and my eye hadn’t dropped and everything with my vision checked out good. I’d forgotten to give my CT scans to the doctor until the end of the visit. He came back looking like he’d seen a ghost and based on the scans recommended me seeing the plastic surgeon and getting the surgery recommended by the other doctors. Again my FAITH was in my eye fully healing on its own without surgery.

Within 2 weeks my eye looked as if the injury had never happened and I had full functionality. Fast forward to my 6 month check up with the ophthalmologist, my eye had fully healed on its own with no changes to my vision and without any surgery! The doctor’s assistant came in and said “You know you’re really lucky because someone came in with the same issue and had to lose their eye. I told her “that’s not luck, that’s God! I could’ve literally lost my eye and according to the doctors the vision in the other eye would’ve diminished too…But God! He performed not just a miracle but a medically documented miracle for me! How, you ask? Because of my Faith. While faith sometimes doesn’t make sense, it does in fact make miracles.

Until the next faith testimony..

To be a part of the movement, share your own faith story Here!

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Grief and Losing a Loved One

HI Faith Travelers!

Last week, I mentioned not to miss this week’s blog because it’s near and dear to my heart. Judging by the title you can tell just how dear to my heart it really is. You can also see that God actually gave me the title well in advance versus those eleventh hour revelations and 4 AM all-nighters per usual. That’s just like a loving Father; He knew the kind of reminiscing, processing and healing I would go through as I wrote this post, so He gave me time to rest in Him (See Matthew 11:28) prior to writing. I pray that those who can relate to losing a close loved one are comforted by this post.

This week makes 1 year of me losing the woman who raised me since I was a little girl, the woman who helped to shape my life and the matriarch and glue to our close knit family, my grandmother. Words can’t describe how big a loss this was to our family. Sometimes it still doesn’t seem real but the one thing I can take comfort in is knowing that I will see her again…because I know who she served; Jesus (See Joshua 24:15).

My reaction to the loss of my grandma was one that I couldn’t have expected because I thought when my grandma left this earth, they may have to put me in a padded room…But God. I’ll get to that part shortly though.

This is not your typical grief blog post. In today’s blog, I will share my life experience with my grandmother while she was living, in the midst of losing her and how I managed grief after she had gone to be with the Lord.

When I was young I practically lived with my grandparents. They kept me, fed me, clothed me and made sure I was in church EVERY Sunday. My mom worked full time and was in the Air Force Reserves so when I wasn’t with her or my dad I was with them. I was extremely close to my grandparents. So close that when my grandfather passed away, when I was in high school, I didn’t want my grandmother to be alone so I officially moved in with her. Though I saw my mom and little brother everyday, from the age of 14 through the majority of my college years, it was just me and her until I made the hard decision to transfer from my local university to finish my engineering degree at the main campus in another city. Most of my life’s decisions were centered around not being too far from my grandma. This included how far away I interned, which company I chose to work for after graduation that had locations in nearby states, work rotational assignment choices, and even where I decided to live after my job’s rotational program ended. I settled on a location just a 2 hours drive away from her and my mom since at the time, my mom was dealing with a health issue. I went so far as to pass up work promotions that were outside of close areas because I knew my priorities. I say all of that to say, family and my grandma was a top priority to me next to God.

Always by her side… Me and Grandma Circa 2016

My grandma was one of the healthiest seniors that I knew. She was up at 4 AM every day walking the neighborhood with a stick like it was her job. She was sharp with a sharp mind and a lot of sass. As the years passed my grandma had bouts with illness, knee replacements and other surgeries but always bounced back. I was there for each one of them. But last year was different…

One thing I have always been clear about was my God given assignment for the season. This particular season God let my husband and I know that we would be going on another mission trip to Peru together, leaving Oct 15th. He also opened the door to the opportunity for us to be co-speakers at the I’m Becoming Fearless Conference 2022 on Oct 8th. But there was one thing wrong…my grandmothers’ health was declining unlike any other time. During that time, I did what any intercessor (See 1 Kings 13:6 NKJV, NIV) would do and I went to war in prayer on my grandmother’s behalf. I was already feeling terrible and even guilty, if I’m being honest, that I wasn’t there with her like usual. Even though I was able to Facetime her, it just wasn’t the same. I wanted to rush up there for the quick 2 hour trip one weekend but God was leading me not to for some reason. I found out shortly after that there was something wrong with my vehicle’s front tire and it could’ve blown out while I was on the highway and only the Lord knows what could’ve happened…But God. This was a prime example of being led by the Spirit and not your flesh (See Galatians 5:16-18). That same weekend, I Facetimed with my grandma and even though I was feeling guilty for not being there, she told me she had a dream about me that I came into her hospital room, gave her her medicine and took care of her. After I got off the phone with her, I wept and thanked God for giving her that dream because only God could hear my hearts’ cry to want to be there for her.

A couple of weekends later towards the end of September, I was able to go see my grandma in person but she was not doing well. I went into the hospital room ready to lay hands on her, go up in tongues and call down fire from heaven for her to be well but in that moment I got a nudge from the Holy Spirit to just be a granddaughter that day. So I fed her as much as she would allow, cut and filed her nails and just talked to her. After leaving and seeing her in the state she was in, I told God please do not make me choose between the God assignments ahead and my grandma. Not that He was asking me to but I told God I couldn’t handle it if I was somewhere out of the country and something happened to her.

When I got home I sought wise counsel (See Proverbs 19: 20) from a trusted friend to understand how I needed to be praying over this entire situation. One thing the individual said to me was to ask the Holy Spirit what my grandma’s will was in all of this. Remember there is God’s will but we also have free will (See John 7:17). God responded to me that it was His will that grandma live to a specific age He mentioned that was beyond her current age. I knew His will always leads to life. I prayed concerning what her will was and God gave me a dream to show me exactly how my grandmother was feeling and the pain she was in. After that, I began to understand what may be ahead.

On a Tuesday morning, I received a call from my aunt telling me my grandmother had a massive heart attack. Doctors found it strange that the monitors showed she had the heart attack but didn’t feel it. The doctors stated she didn’t have much time. I asked my aunt to put her ear to the phone and I whispered some specific things to her the Holy Spirit led me to say, told her we will be fine and that I love her once, I love her twice, I love her next to Jesus Christ. I got off the phone and prayed then found out that she passed 8 minutes after I got off the phone with her.

My grandmother passed away on Oct 4th, 2022. The last thing she said to me when I saw her in person on September 22nd was “I love you once, I love you twice, I love you next to Jesus Christ. You take care of yourself.” While I was saddened after her death, I realized God had given the most beautiful gift, an answered prayer from years ago that He would prepare me before my grandmother left this earth and that I would be able to say “See you later” with no regrets.

My grandmother passed away on the 4th and there was still a God given assignment to fulfill on the 8th. I knew the devil would love for me to abandon my assignment but I was not going to give the enemy any satisfaction to take my grandmother prematurely (See John 10:10)and think I wasn’t going to fight back by fulfilling kingdom business. My husband and I ministered on the topic, This is the beginning of…The New Thing (See Isaiah 43:19). After I walked off the stage, I allowed myself to let go of the tears I had been holding all week in order to stay focused and through those tears I decided to live on serving others as she did when she was alive.

I’m Becoming Fearless Conference 2022

We celebrated my grandmother’s life at her funeral on Oct 14th. On that day I watched 12+ people give their lives to Christ because of how she lived hers. My message to our family was “Don’t die with her, choose to live for her! She has ran her God given race and now it’s time for us to pick up the baton and finish our own race. Keep running!”

Peru Mission 2022

The very next day I was on a plane headed on a mission trip to Peru where my husband and I ministered together again and saw countless people get saved, set free and miraculously healed. Again, I didn’t abandon the assignment because I chose to live for my grandmother. This was easier said than done but the way God covered and graced me during this entire time was truly beauty for ashes (See Isaiah 61:3). This was a pure testament of God’s grace is sufficient (See II Corinthians 12:9).

The loss of my grandmother taught me that God hears every prayer no matter big or small, current or past. He hears them. They may not be answered the way we want them to be answered or when we want them answered but He hears them and has a perfect plan that will work together for your good. I learned His grace is sufficient no matter the obstacle or circumstance. And I learned to never abandon the assignment because you don’t know whose life, whose next, or whose purpose is attached to it.

I will leave you all with this. If you are dealing with the loss of a loved one and struggling with grief, remind yourself of the promises of God. Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted (Matthew 5:4). May God turn your sadness into joy, your sorrow into praise, and your distress into peace. Death is not final when you are a believer in Jesus Christ. For those who believed in Christ and passed away will be reunited with those believers who are still alive when Jesus returns (I Thessalonians 4:15-18 NLT). Take comfort in knowing that it’s not goodbye but rather see you later.

Until the next faith story…

To be a part of the movement, share your own faith story Here!

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It’s Bigger Than Me

Hi Faith Travelers!

Happy Faith Friday!

If it’s one thing I know about God, it’s that He knows how to “WOW” you when you least expect it. But before I share what the WOW was, I want to share my heart with you all.

As we have been discussing Obedience the past several weeks and sharing the testimonies I’ve personally experienced connected to it; I have literally been walking out faith and obedience myself on a week to week basis. This has included waiting for the Holy Spirit ( See John 16:13) to share what topic and testimony to blog on, just in time for Friday’s post. And when I say just in time, I literally mean receiving God’s clarity on the topic around 10/11 p.m. on a Thursday night and writing until 3/4 a.m. when I have to be up at 7 a.m. for work. Remember last week’s blog… well this is a perfect example of what I mean when I say “It won’t be easy but it’s necessary”.

Some may say, “Why do I do it?” My answer will always be, “Because this is bigger than me”. It involves me but it’s not about me. It’s about the glory of God (See Romans 5: 1-2). All of this is so that you can experience hand delivered evidence of God’s goodness and faithfulness in the lives of people you may or may not know so that your faith will grow and be shared with all who you encounter. Sharing faith…to spread faith.

Because this is bigger than me. It involves me but it’s not about me. It’s about the glory of God!”

-A Faith Traveler

Remember that unexpected “WOW” I mentioned earlier, well as I was working on updating the blog, I stumbled upon the analytics and discovered that this Blog has reached 34 countries (103 countries as of January 2026)! Read that again…34 COUNTRIES (103 COUNTRIES as of January 2026)!!! This gave me a whole new perspective on what it means to ” Go and make disciples of all the nations” (See Matthew 28: 16-20) . Going no longer just means physically being there. You never know how God will use something for His glory. This wowed me because in just under 2 months God has taken something I was disobedient with starting since 2016, helped me officially start the site in 2020 even though I was inconsistent and now in 2023, He has breathed on it to reach all who He has ordained it to reach. This goes to show you that it’s never too late to walk in obedience with God. But trust me, you want to be obedient the first time God asks.

The Faith Travels Movement has reached 34 countries
(Now 103 COUNTRIES as of January 2026)

In hopes that you all have been enjoying what has been shared on this blog thus far, I wanted to share something exciting with you. As I share these faith stories and testimonies week after week, this blog was not meant to just be stories about me nor for my benefit. It was meant to share the faithfulness of God and the Good News of Jesus Christ from around the world. With that being said, I want to give YOU the opportunity to be a part of the Faith Travels movement and share your story. I have received several faith testimonies that have been submitted within the past few years and as the Holy Spirit directs the topics, I will share them. So expect to hear some powerful testimonies from across the nations.

If you want to be a part of sharing faith to spread faith, please Click Here to submit your testimony. You won’t regret being a part of this global move of God.

A prayer for every Faith Traveler,

Father God in the name of Jesus, I thank you for each and every person that reads this. I plead the blood of Jesus Christ over those eager to share, those who are reluctant and scared to share their story and those who are just passing by to grab an ounce of faith in their trial through someone else’s overcoming triumph. I pray that from His glorious, unlimited resources He will empower you with inner strength through His Spirit. Then Christ will make His home in your hearts as you trust in Him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong.  And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep His love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.

In Jesus Christ name I pray. AMEN

Stay tuned for next weeks’ faith testimony. This one is near and dear to my heart so you don’t want to miss it!

Looking forward to hearing your faith stories!

Until next time…

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It Won’t Be Easy But It’s Necessary

HI Faith Travelers!

I’ve been looking forward to talking to you all this week! This was a week where I was eagerly anticipating Friday just to see what God wanted to say to you today because he of course didn’t give the title until the eleventh hour. I realized everything that He has me to write for you turns right back around and serves as a faith reminder and strengthener for me as well. This has really been a week, but for those of you who had a smooth sailing week, Praise God! For those of you who had a directionally challenged week like myself, meaning the week didn’t know whether it wanted to go good or bad…keep your head up, Thank Jesus and know that tomorrow is another chance to count it all joy (James 1:2-3)!

If you haven’t realized it yet, we are still touching on the topic of Obedience. At this point, I’m sure we recognize that this topic is important to God. This is why throughout the past few weeks of blogging, I’ve had the opportunity to self-reflect on my own acts of obedience to God and if I am being honest; those acts of obedience weren’t always pretty nor easy to walk through.

Obedience isn’t always just an act of kindness, a gesture or a matter of not doing something that sins against God. Obedience can look like taking a new opportunity that is difficult and stretches you to build character, it can be walking with God on a healing journey to uproot the symptoms of perfectionism and parental wounds, it can look like forgiving someone who has offended or hurt you badly or even praying for that person who recently betrayed you. This is why when you’re walking in obedience, it won’t be easy but it’s necessary.

“It won’t be easy but it’s necessary…” This was the very phrase that God whispered to me years ago during my time of sitting in His presence in prayer one day. It is a phrase that often echoes in my spirit whenever I realize that I have entered into a new season ( Ecclesiastes 3:1) that feels difficult or rather uncomfortable. I think about when I was at my last place of employment and I was being overworked with 3 jobs in 1, overlooked for promotion and treated in a manner that a lot would say was unfair. Even after an almost 10 year career there at the time, I wanted out immediately! I started updating my resume, refining my LinkedIn profile and applying for jobs wherever they were posted. All of that just for God to tell me “No, not yet”. I would respond, ” What Lord, what do you mean “No, no yet”…this entire situation at work is stressful, humiliating and frustrating and I know you can’t possibly want me to stay in this.” From that point on, I didn’t hear much from God on that specific matter until I would see a job posting that would peak my interest. In my excitement of seeing something I was interested in, I would eagerly go to apply and then hear God unexpectedly utter “No, not yet”, yet again. This went on for months, and I had already applied for positions including those I was over-qualified for. Again, I was desperate to get out. Well the funny thing (funny now but not back then) is that I was denied from every single job I applied for. Every. Single. One. This definitely hurt but then I realized there must be a reason God is literally not allowing me to move on from this job.

I sought the Lord specifically on this matter and He shared with me that even though He didn’t intend for me to be go through what I was going through the way I was going through it; in the midst of it all He was with me (Deuteronomy 31:8, Matthew 28:20) and would work it out for my good (Romans 8:28). The devil was using (Ephesians 6:12) specific people to taunt me and make me prematurely leave a place where God was still growing me up to prepare me for the places He was calling me to in the future. Not to mention, I was on assignment at work outside of my actual job, God had me to minister to specific people including maintenance contractors, janitors, the cleaning ladies I loved talking to and those that would come by to put a request in my prayer box on my desk.

Fast forward to 3 years later, after being at that employer for now 13 years, God opened a door to a new opportunity, a new industry and a new career path. A position I literally WAS NOT qualified for on paper…But God! This was true evidence to me that God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called. Though I didn’t see it at the time, God was building my character at my old job to prepare me for my new job and other future opportunities. He was strengthening my trust in walking with Him and His plan for my life, and positioning me for His perfect timing. It wasn’t easy but it was necessary.

I can recall one thing that God said to me in a different situation that is very much so applicable to this one, He said to me, ” Just because it’s not happening the way you expected it to, doesn’t mean you’re being punished…you’re being positioned.”

” Just because it’s not happening the way you expected it to doesn’t mean you’re being punished…you’re being positioned.”

-God

If you happen to find yourself in a place where you feel like things aren’t happening for you the way that you think they should and you are running into wall after wall, Look to God. If you have a feeling that there is more for you but you don’t see the path, Look to God. If you have a desire to live and walk out a purpose driven life, Look to God. The focus should always be Jesus(God) yet the path will be one intricately designed to take you from the test to the testimony and pit to the palace. It won’t be easy but it will always be necessary.

Until the next faith story…

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Obedience: Following the Voice Of God

Happy Friday Faith Travelers!

So I have to be honest with you. I definitely thought I would be starting a new topic this week. I started writing it out earlier in the week and God even gave me a story to go along with it, so I thought I would be finishing it up early and scheduling my post for Friday. Well as of 10:37pm on this good Thursday night, God has decided to give me something else to write about on the same topic of Obedience. I expect nothing less, because preparing a Holy Spirit led blog post on a weekly basis with a demanding work schedule, business, husband and daily life happenings, is a faith walk and act of obedience in itself. But I think of it like this, how can I minister to you on certain topics, unless I have experienced it myself.

I honestly believe God has me staying on this topic of Obedience for a very good reason. There are some of you out there who have yet to do the last thing God has asked you to do. How do I know…because this blog was one of the last things God asked me to do and He started asking me in 2016. But don’t waste time or follow my disobedience. Do it the first time God asks! Be that as it may, I will say if your disobedience clock is already ticking like mine was, it’s not too late for you to pick up where you left off and do the thing that God has asked of you. You have to always remember, it’s not about you and it’s bigger than you. Take my day for example, my work day was extremely rough and exhausting today but right before writing, I read one of my devotionals, and God gave me a sweet reminder through His word in Philippians 4:13.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Philippians 4:13

This literally gave me the encouragement that I needed to keep going because it reminded me that I am not doing this in my own strength but in God given strength to fulfill my God given assignment for whomever God wills it to be for. I echo what I said earlier for myself, it’s not about me and it’s bigger than me.

Obedience, in its simpler biblical definition, means “to hear” and “to listen”. This ultimately means to be informed and to take heed. So in order to be obedient or take heed to God’s instructions, you have to first be able to hear God’s instructions. This comes through spending time with God, through reading His word (II Timothy 3: 16-17), worship (John 4:24) and prayer (I Thessalonians 5:17). The more you learn the character of God (I John 4:8,16) through intimate time with Him, the more you will recognize when He is speaking to you (Joshua 1:8). This doesn’t mean that you will hear an audible voice like you are talking to a friend sitting next to you. I, myself, have only heard an audible voice twice in my life. Once while falling asleep behind the wheel right before heading straight into the guardrails on the highway (A story for another day). The other time is explained in my 3rd Blog post right before I received healing in my body. Both times were early in my faith walk, not that that makes a difference, but now I personally believe I don’t have to depend on hearing His voice audibly. That’s because I know His voice ( John 10:27) from spending time with Him so when I hear that still small voice ( I Kings 19:11-12) inwardly in my spirit, I don’t doubt that I am hearing God speak.

It wasn’t easy for me to fine tune to God’s voice. Early in my faith walk when I was bound home due to illness, I begged God to speak to me and give me instruction. I prayed, fasted and kept a journal of the prayers I wrote to Jesus. Then one day I heard that still small voice that said, ” I was always talking, you just needed to listen.” From then on, I kept a journal of when God spoke to me so that I could reference back when I had doubt it was Him speaking to me. Each time I had a doubt, I was able to go back to what God said and confirmed that it was definitely not just my thoughts. There were times when what God was saying to me was straight out of His word, yet it was a scripture that I hadn’t read before, so when I stumbled across it in the Bible, I would be reminded that I was hearing God clearly.

Soon God began to give me mini assignments when He spoke to me. He would have me relay messages of encouragement to people, give small donations or even give them a hug. The part that wowed me was the confirmation from those same people that said “that was exactly what I needed to hear”, “that was the exact amount I needed to pay a bill” and “I needed that hug because of how down I was feeling today”. All of this was helping increase my faith that I was hearing God clearly.

One day God took the obedience assignment to another level. He told me to go to the store and get a loaf of bread and go to Anders Blvd. I went to the store and grabbed the bread. Then I thought to myself, “Anders Blvd…I’ve never even heard of that street before, I must not be hearing right.” I put the name of the street in my iPhone GPS and come to find out, that street was literally less than 5 min down the street from my apartment. I was actually shocked! I grabbed the bread, jumped in the car and headed down the street. As I was driving down Anders Blvd, I was waiting for additional instructions on where to stop but I heard nothing. I saw houses with confederate flags and big angry dogs in their yard and was praying to God for those not to be the houses He wanted me to go to. Though, if it was those houses I know God would have me covered. I got to the end of the dead end road and got sad and frustrated because I didn’t know what to do next. I parked and called a friend of mine and told her what was going on and since I knew she had been walking with God a lot longer than I had, just maybe she would be able to hear from God on what I wasn’t hearing. She prayed for and encouraged me and got off the phone. Seconds later, she sends a text that said, ” Sorry Boo, God said this is between you and Him.

Following the Voice of God to Anders Blvd in Jacksonville, FL

I sighed and asked God to tell me what to do. As I looked up while still sitting in my car, I saw a taxi van and heard God say follow that van. I followed the taxi through the complex and parked a few vehicles down. I watched a guy wearing a fast food restaurant uniform get out and go into one of the apartments. I hesitated, took a deep breath and got out of the car; heading towards the same front door of where the guy entered. I knocked and then I heard a deep angry sounding voice say, “Who is it ?!!”. I replied, Umm my name is Sheena. He opens the door and says, “Can I help you” in a nicer voice. I replied with the only thing, I could think to say, ” I know this may sound crazy but God told me to get some bread and bring it here, by any chance do you need some bread?” He said ” Yeah, yeah we do need some bread. Thank you so much!” He opens the door and introduces me to his girlfriend. They both shake my hand, thank me and I head back to my car. Tearing up from the relief of completing the assignment, I drive off and start to have a flood of thoughts, thinking maybe I should have done more like pray for them or invite them to church but then I realized if God wanted me to do that, He would’ve said that. Once I got home and prayed about my encounter, God revealed to me, “it didn’t matter what house or apartment you stopped at, no matter where you ended I would’ve made sure it was well. All I needed was your trust and obedience.”

I share all of this to let you know if there are some things that you believe God is leading you to do but you don’t have all the details, follow the last set of instructions He gave and trust that once you are obedient to that portion, He will give you the next. Trust God and be obedient in following His voice/ instructions because at the end of the day…It’s not about you and it’s bigger than you.

Until the next Faith story…